Yes I Love You
by haley97
Summary: I'd never see her again. We'd never kiss again. We'd never get into those ridiculous fights over what we would have for dinner. I'd never open the shower door and surprise her, not even caring about the wet tile as we made love. Never again. She was gone.


She died today. Well, fifteen years ago today. I remember it like it was yesterday.

I_ was at a party, with Rachel, Finn, and the rest of the gang. We were having a good time, playing those stupid party games. We were celebrating Rachel making it through her first year of college. _

_She had said she would be right back. She had just gone to the store. We were running low on beer and she definitely wouldn't be driving so we sent her out. I was dancing with Santana when my phone buzzed, in my pocket. I pulled away from Santana. She didn't mind, she just turned to Brittany and started grinding on her. I went outside and answered it, 'Hello?' I said, still laughing from another stupid thing Finn said. _

"_Is this Noah Puckerman?' asked the voice in a tone that just screamed sadness. This was weird. I replied back cautiously, "Yes... May I ask who's calling?" the voice paused, as if it didn't want to go any further. But if I was delivering the news that they were, I wouldn't exactly be happy about delivering it either. _

"_We're Uh... very sorry, sir. There's been an accident." My mind instantly went into overdrive, "We're sorry, sir. Quinn Fabray was involved in an accident... You were on her emergency contact list. She's... She's gone. If you would please come down to the hos-'" I tuned the voice out and my arms went limp. My head hung and I couldn't form words. I struggled to breathe. They were gone. Quinn. And my baby. My second baby. Gone. My knees went limp and somehow I forced my legs to take me inside. Rachel was the first to notice me. She took in my expression and was by my side in a second, "Noah... What's wrong?" she asked. Those three words seemed to attract the attention of the others because the music turned down and the eyes of my friends turned to face me, "I... She..." I couldn't even form words, tears just filled my eyes. _

_I took in a loud breathe, my chest constricting. I'd never see her again. We'd never kiss again. We'd never get into those ridiculous fights over what we would have for dinner. I'd never open the shower door and surprise her, not even caring about the water that was splashing all over the tile as we made love. I would never just show up at her job, with a bouquet of red roses. Never again. I would never get to listen to that heavenly sound she made when I brought her to climax. Her hands would never run through my Mohawk again. And it killed me, "Noah!" Rachel's panicked voice pulled me out of my thoughts and she pulled me to face her, "Noah! What happened?" I couldn't help it. My tears spilt over my eyelids and I finally collapsed, "It's Quinn!" I managed to spit out, "There was an accident... oh God... she's gone."_

_There was a collection of gasps throughout the room and Rachel's arms went around my waist. I don't remember much else from that night. Who would want to remember that?_

My memory returns at her funeral. I was wearing all black and I didn't speak. Not once. I didn't cry. I didn't talk. I just stood. I stood next to Mr. and Mrs. Fabray and kept my head down. The preacher spoke of the glorious life Quinn lived. She had a fiancee. She had been blessed with a child and was almost through OSU. I shook my head. This man didn't know her. No one knew her. At least, no one knew her like me.

I left... I left town that after noon. Rachel saw me leave, but she never did see me return. I walked off. I left Lima Ohio and I would never go back again. Or so I thought.

When I left, I didn't stay in one place for two long. I did odd jobs, just enough to pay for my truck's gas. Raking yards, painting walls, etc,. And then I would drive. And I drove and I drove some more. She was there the whole time. She sat in the passenger seat, right next to me. We would talk. She'd tell me about our baby. And what Heaven was like. She said she'd met my Papa. She said he missed me. I liked that. I certainly missed him. I liked our time together. It was what I lived for.

After the funeral, I was in my truck, when she appeared, right next to me. She smiled, nuzzled my neck and said she'd always wanted to take a road trip. Of course, I obliged.

And the moments when I couldn't speak to her, when she wasn't there, I picked up my phone and listened to the voicemail she had left me just two weeks before she died. "_Hey, Puck. Its Quinn! Could you do me a favor, baby and go pick up some milk? Thank you!_" And then it ended. And when it ended, I always whispered a yes and then an I love you.

I like to think I'd have never gone back to Lima, if Quinn hadn't made me. We were driving somewhere around Dallas when she looked over at me, "You need to go back, Puck. Back to Lima." I stared incredulously over at her, "Why? Back to Lima? Back to where you died?" I didn't understand. Her eyes softened, "It's time for you to let me go, Noah..."

I stopped the truck immediately and I looked over at her. Why would she want me to move on. To let her go! She was my life. Quinn nodded, "Yes, Noah... It's time to move on. You need to find someone to love. Someone who's not me." I could feel my heart break and I shook my head, "No! Please... I love you."

She smiled, "I know... And I'll wait for you. When you walk up to the gates of Heaven, I'll be there. I'll be waiting for you, baby. With our baby. You know she's a girl?" Tears filled my eyes and clouded my vision, "Please... Don't leave me, Quinn, please!" I begged her. She giggled and scooted close, covering my hand with hers. I could almost feel it this time. "I'll never leave you, Noah. I'll always be there. You just won't see me." I was dumbstruck. This couldn't be happening I couldn't lose her all over again, "Quinn..." She smiled at me, "Be happy, Noah." I lowered my head and closed my eyes. "Yes... I love you." I whispered. When I looked up, she was gone.

So I drove north, to the place where my world came crashing down around me. It was raining, when I arrived. The sky was dark, the clouds were over ahead, and rain was falling in sheets. How melodramatic.

I passed the park. This was where I had proposed to Quinn. I slowly pulled to a stop and got out. I moved, towards the sand pit. The very sandpit I dropped to one knee and asked her to become Mrs. Quinn Puckerman. I looked up at the sky and let the rain run down my face. I kept looking over my shoulder, just waiting. Just waiting to see her. But she never did come. This was too much.

I pulled out my cell and clicked on the voicemail from Quinn. "_Hey, Puck. Its Quinn! Could you do me a favor, baby and go pick up some milk? Thank you!_" I swallowed shakily and nodded, "Yes... I love you."

My second stop, down memort lane was McKinley. School wasn't in session. I didn't get to watch the high schoolers pour into the hallway, abuzz with gossip an secrets. I stood out and looked at the building. My eyes found that one area behind the pillar. That's where Quinn and I got back together. Right after she broke up with Sam. It was one of the happiest days of my life. I remember exactly what she told me.

_"You want me? You want to be with me? You love me?"_

_"Yes. I love you."_

We had so many memories there.

My third and final destination, my house. I pulled my truck up to the small house with the brown shutters. It brought back so many memories. This is where Quinn and I made our second baby. A girl. No one knew it was a girl. Except me. Quinn had died before the baby was developed enough for the doctors to see. But Quinn told me. Anytime I asked about her time in Heaven she told me how she loved our baby girl and how our baby girl loved me.

I walked through the grass and stopped at the large oak. So many sweet kisses had been made under this tree. Quinn had carved into the tree many years ago, '**Quinn and Puck forever?**' Directly under, I had carved **yes. **Now, I pulled out my pocket knife and pressed it against the tree bark. I couldn't help but smile as I forced '**I love you**' into the tree bark.

I was pulled from my thoughts by a loud honk and headlights. I turned around, wide eyed as a silver Lexus pulled to a stop. I shielded my eyes and stared at the vehicle next to me.

The door opened and Finn Hudson stepped out of the car. He stared at me as if seeing a ghost. For all he knew, I had died. I had contacted anyone in the three years since Quinn's death. "Puck..." he swallowed and stepped close. I backed away.

"Finn." My voice cracked. It'd been awhile since I had an actual conversation with someone. I cleared my throat.

"You're back?" He took another step closer. I took another step back, "It's been 3 years since we've even heard from you, Puck... Where have you been?"

I shrugged.

Finn nodded. He wasn't going to question me. At least... not yet, "What made you come back?"

I smiled and traced the carving on the tree, lost in my memories, "Quinn..." Finn was obviously disgruntled at saying Quinn because his eyes widened, "She's dead, dude. She's been dead for three years." Puck rolled his eyes, as if he didn't know. He was lost in a haze, thinking of only his beautiful, blonde angel, "We used to talk after it happened. She would sit next to me, while I drove. My baby, Finn... Was a girl. Quinn told me. My beautiful baby girl..." Puck smiled and Finn, obviously freaked out, motioned him to come forward, "Why don't you come to my place? Reich just made dinner. I was just going to get some milk."

Milk. Going to get some Milk.

Puck's hand twitched and he grabbed his phone. He needed her voice. To calm him down. He pressed a button and brought it to his ear, "_Hey, Puck. Its Quinn! Could you do me a favor, baby and go pick up some milk? Thank you!_" Puck nodded and whispered, "Yes. I love you."

Finn watched the exchance, his frown deepening, but he didn't say anything. "Come on, dude... You need a place to stay."

I just nodded, not in the mood to disagree and followed Finn dazedly, my mind swarming with memories of Quinn.

I know that Finn talked on the way to wherever he was living. But I didn't listen. I was thinking. I needed to control myself. Finn, Rachel, and the others wouldn't understand the connection I had with Quinn. They wouldn't understand how Quinn and I still loved eachother. How I still was very much in love with Quinn and how I knew my baby was a girl.

"Puck? Puck!"

Finn's frantic voice withdrew me from my thoughts and I nodded, opening the door. We walked up the walk to Finn's house in silence and Finn opened the door.

"DADDY!" The voice of a little girl screamed. I could feel my heart burst. Where did the voice come from. Was my baby girl here? Had Quinn brought her too me? My head snapped to the sound, my eyes alight with hope.

I looked over to see Finn crouch on the floor, pulling a small brown haired girl into his arms, hugging her tightly, "Hey, baby." he cooed.

I could feel my self come crashing back down to earth. It wasn't my baby. Not my baby. Never again would a baby call me Daddy. I would never get to hear it. I'd never hear the sound of a baby call me Daddy. My head lowered.

"Finn? Did you pick up the milk? I need to get the macaroni done and you know I need milk to do that! I can't eat macaroni witho-" the voice stopped as soon as it entered the room. And then there was Rachel.

It amazed me that they still recognized me. I had gotten rid of the Mohawk, and instead just let it grow out. It was still short though. Quinn liked my hair when it was shorter. She had told me on one of our many drives.

"Noah."

I stared into her eyes, "Rachel."

She immediately burst into tears and threw herself into my arms. I closed my eyes, imagining my blonde haired angel in my arms. I was no longer holding Rachel, but Quinn.

Quinn looked up at me and wiped her tears, "Where've you been, Noah?" I was puzzled. What did she mean by that? We had been driving together for three years. "I've been with you, Quinn."

Whoops. Slip of the tongue. I was supposed to be keeping Quinn to myself.

I came back to earth and Quinn transformed back into Rachel, "Quinn? Noah... I'm Rachel and Quinn is gone."

I struggled to back track, "Yeah, I know. I didn't mean to call you that."

"Where were you, Noah? Where've you been?" I shrugged again. I didn't want to talk about it. Her reaction didn't mirror Finn's because as soon as my shoulders lowered, I received a stinging smack.

"NOAH PUCKERMAN! DO YOU KNOW HOW WORRIED I'VE BEEN?" she screeched. My hand shakily went up to my cheek as I stared at her wondrously. I cringed, looking away.

"You just disappeared without a word! We didn't know whether you were dead or what! And then you just come in here and SHRUG! I don't think so!"

Well, she was right.

My mouth dropped and I glanced to Finn for help. I got none. He was texting on his phone, his brows furrowed. Who in the hell would he text right now.

I looked back to Rachel, "I was driving." I refused to tell her about how I drove with Quinn.

"Driving. And where were you driving Noah?"

"No where. I just drove. Anywhere there was a road, I was driving." It wasn't a lie.

Rachel wiped at her eyes. I swallowed and lowered my head, "I couldn't be here." That was a hundred percent true.

Rachel's arms wound around my waist and I swallowed. There was a loud knock and suddenly the door burst open at the hinges. I could hear voices. I turned, looking towards the sound.

"FINN HUDSON IF YOU'RE LYING TO ME, I WILL KICK YOUR ASS SO HARD, YOU'LL BE SPITTING OUT STILLETOS FOR A WEEK!"

The ear splitting shriek of Santana Lopez had my knees shake and I sat on the couch. I was honestly scared for my life.

The Latina rounded the corner and then she spotted me, slowly coming to a stop. Her eyes sought mine and we gazed at eachother. I didn't realize how much I had missed her.

"Oh God..." she muttered, her eyes filling with tears. A sob ran through her and she lowered her head, "I never thought I'd see you again..." she slowly walked towards me and I wrapped my arms around her waist.

Slowly, my old friends entered the room. Sam, Artie, Brittany, and the Asians. I couldn't spot Mercedes or Kurt.

That night, a little bit of the man I once was, returned. Seeing them.. it had helped. Quinn was right. As usual.

Weeks passed and I found that Quinn was right more and more. Coming back to Lima had helped. I got a job. I was a fireman. I never did go to college. Well, I never finished it. I was halfway through community college when Quinn died. Then I left. So a fireman was really my only option. I rebuilt the muscle I lost and a sparkle returned to my eye. And I was happy. Mostly. Every night, I laid in my bed, in that small apartment next to the station and pulled out my phone.

"_Hey, Puck. Its Quinn! Could you do me a favor, baby and go pick up some milk? Thank you__!_"

"Yes, baby. I love you." It was my nightly ritual.

I met someone. A girl. Her name was Delaney. She had blonde hair, blue eyes, and she looked just like Quinn. I became enamored. She was always on my mind. I suppose it wasn't healthy, for me to go after her, but I've never exactly done the right thing have I?

And then Shelby came back. With Beth. Beth was nine when I met her for the first time since we gave her up. She looked just like Quinn and for the first time since Quinn's funeral, I cried. I cried because Quinn never got to meet her. I cried because she looked just like Quinn. And I cried because I had to explain why I was here and Quinn wasn't.

Delaney caught me crying. She used the key I had given her and opened the door, to find me clutching a picture of Quinn to my chest, sobs racking through my body. She saw the picture. This was the first time she had seen a picture of Quinn. She noticed the resemblance.

She yelled, she screamed, and we both cried.

"Noah... I can't do this... Knowing you wished I was her... You need to get over her." She left me there with a picture clutched to my chest.

"Noah."

My breath caught and I turned, to see her.

My angel. She was hear. She came back for me.

"Quinn..."

"Noah... What are you doing? You said you'd be happy... Why can't you let me go?" Why couldn't she understand that I loved her too much?

I struggled for an answer and Quinn walked over to me, crouching beside me, "I love you, Noah... I want you to be happy. Let me go... Love Delaney because she's Delaney. Not because she looks like me. Remember, my love. I'll be waiting." And she was gone. And it killed me.

Again.

I went back to Delaney. We got married, and we did the things that married couples did. We had babies. Three of them. Three blonde headed beauties. I loved them more than life.

I still had the sonogram. The sonogram of the baby I never got. It hangs in my room next to my family portrait. It'll never move.

My oldest baby, wasn't a baby anymore. He was eight years old and I loved him so much. My little Noah. He was Noah Jr. He was my son in and out, but blonde. He was sporty, he was definitely a BAMF. He was my life.

My second baby, was the smart one. He amazed me in the way he solved the homework that Noah had struggled to do just two years prior. Nathan was six.

My third baby... Was my baby. Her name was Quinn. It had been difficult, to convince Delaney to allow it... But it had happened and I had Quinn. She was two. I never could refuse her. I'd give her the world If I could.

So tonight, I was outside on my front porch, remembering. I pulled out my phone and pressed the voicemail I listened to when things got hard. Life was good with Delaney. I loved her. I loved my kids. But there was nights when all I could think about was Quinn, Beth, and my little girl I never met.

"_Hey, Puck. Its Quinn! Could you do me a favor, baby and go pick up some milk? Thank you!_"

I swallowed, "Yes. I love you."

And then I did something I never wanted to do before in fifteen years.

I pressed delete. 


End file.
